I'm right here
by Mvsyk
Summary: After being held hostage for a week, Kathryn is haunted by flashbacks and nightmares.


It had all started from the moment she materialized on the ship. The memories, the nightmares and the constant feeling of being watched.

Kathryn Janeway had materialized in an only half-conscious state of mind. Her uniform ripped to shreds and her skin covered in blood from several wounds, she had stumbled off the transporter platform - just to collapse on the cold metal deck in fits of trembles and shivers.

Had it been Chakotay? Yes, it must have been Chakotay who had carried her all the way to sickbay. She had heard Seven and Tuvok discussing something about setting a new course while his heartbeat throbbed steadily against her temple. He had whispered something to comfort her, to reassure her that she would be alright and that the Doctor would help her.

She couldn't remember his exact words, or anything for that matter, except for an image that suddenly surfaced in her mind. An image of Chakotay stepping back from her biobed, his uniform stained with dark blood - her blood.

Kathryn's eyes snapped open at the discomforting image; yet it lingered in her mind for a few moments after.

Her quarters were plunged into darkness - only the stars outside offered a small source of light. It reflected in her eyes and bounced off her damp skin. She could feel herself breathing rapidly, drops of sweat running down her forehead and eventually dripping onto the thin nightgown she was wearing.

'You need to calm down,' she told herself. 'You need to calm down. It won't happen again.'

It could have been an ordinary, rather uninteresting morning for Chakotay if it wasn't for that nagging thought at the back of his mind. The thought that reminded him of his captain sitting in her ready room while he was in charge of the bridge.

No 'Good morning'; she had entered the bridge and gone straight to her ready room.

"Shouldn't someone go check on her? She's been in there all morning," Tom Paris offered into the silence.

Seven didn't respond. She was busy calculating ... something - Chakotay hadn't been bothered to ask what her assignment was.

"That would be unwise," Tuvok replied, without looking up from his station, "She's probably working on a report."

A report on what? Chakotay couldn't quite imagine the captain writing a report on the traumatizing week she had been through. Not yet, anyway.

Just then, he hadn't even finished thinking, a com panel beeped.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

She was frozen in motion. All Kathryn's body seemed to be able to do was tremble. What had this been? An hallucination? A dream? Daydream? She never daydreamed. But she could have sworn she was back in that cell, smelled that damp, stale air and felt the cold, dirty stone underneath her.

Now she was back in her ready room, the screams of hostages in the other cells as the aliens tortured them with electric shocks to the nervous system, just as they had done with her, still ringing in the back of her mind.

The doors slid open, startling her, and Chakotay rushed inside - his face contorted with worry.

"Kathryn?" It only took him a few steps to be by her side, "Are you alright? What's going on?"

"Chakotay ..." she whispered, her voice shaking.

The trembling hands Chakotay had kept his eyes on were now reaching out for him. He took them both in his and locked his gaze with the captain's as he took a seat next to her.

"Kathryn," he repeated calmly, "What happened?"

Her normally determined blue eyes were filled with fear - horror.

Terrified, she replied, "I - I was there ... I was back there."

"You imagined it. You've been in here all morning."

"No, Chakotay, I was there. I could feel the cold - I heard the screams!" Kathryn protested. She knew how irrational her behaviour was. Of course she had been on Voyager all morning - yet it had felt so real.

"I need you to believe me. I need you to help me."

'I need you,' she added in her mind, but didn't dare say it.

"What do you want?" Kathryn's voice was hoarse from screaming, her throat felt like it was on fire, yet she tried not to be intimidated by the bulky alien male in front of her.

He hadn't ever given her an answer, no matter how many times she asked, and he wouldn't now.

"You will suffer for intruding into our realm."

How many times had she heard that? She didn't have time to think about it. The alien's finger hit a control and her body began searing in pain, electric shocks making her wrath and thrash around on the cell's stone floor, gut-wrenching screams leaving her bloody lips. A deep thud as her body hit the ground - the alien gave her a moment to recover before resuming his activities. Did he enjoy seeing her like this? Was he waiting for her to back down, crawl away and sob in the corner? Hell no, this species was about to meet Kathryn Janeway.

Just as another scream left her, something came back. A familiar voice calling for her.

"Kathryn! Kathryn, wake up!"

With another strangled scream, Kathryn shot up in bed. She was bathed in sweat and gasping for air - Chakotay was leaning over her, wearing a grey T-Shirt and sweatpants.

"How did you-" she gasped.

He gently pushed her back into the pillows, "You hit the com. But when I answered, I could only hear you screaming."

She did remember having hit the com in a moment of half-consciousness - or more like wiping it off her bedside table.

Chakotay sat down on the edge of her bed.

"What happened? ... Nightmare ...?"

She nodded glumly, still shivering. She pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them.

"This can't keep happening."

"Have you told the Doctor about these nightmares? Hallucinations - the flashbacks you have during the day?" Chakotay laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

Kathryn looked up at him.

"No," she whispered, "I didn't ... have the time."

He got up, extending a hand to her.

"You have now."

"No." Fear overcame her once again at the prospect of the long, dimly lit corridors and the confined turbolift, "No, Chakotay - please - you don't understand."

The tense look on his face softened. "I do. I know how scared you are. But you don't need to be - I'm right here and I won't let anything happen to you."

She didn't answer.

"Come on," he said quietly - comforting - and wrapped his arms around her, picking her up and carrying her out into the corridor.

In that moment she felt much smaller and more fragile to him than she ever had before. He could feel every bone, every tense muscle, every shiver that went through her body.

"It's alright," he kept assuring her as he rushed through the ship's corridors on his way to the nearest turbolift, "You're going to be okay, Kathryn."

Once in the turbolift, Chakotay had set her down, holding her close while she leaned against him for support.

Only seconds after the doors closed, her grip on his shirt tightened and her breathing grew rapid, more shallow.

"Kathryn?" He looked down at her, worried.

Her eyes met his quickly.

"They're here. I can hear them - they're about to ... torture me again ... Chakotay ..."

Chakotay was startled to see tears roll down her cheeks - unstoppable streams of tears.

"Kathryn." He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her protectively, "Kathryn, don't cry. I'm right here."

He could feel her sob into his shoulder, her tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt.

"No one is going to hurt you. You're safe, Kathryn, I promise," he muttered, burying his face in her hair, taking in her trademark scent of coffee.

"Doctor! Doctor, I need your help! Doctor!"

What the doctor saw when he turned the corner was disturbing, to say the least - even for a hologram.

Commander Chakotay was standing in the middle of sickbay, a wildly sobbing and shivering Captain Janeway wrapped tightly in his arms.

"I need your help," the commander repeated more quietly, pleading, "Please."

"Get her onto a biobed, I'll be right there," the Doctor instructed, rushing for a medical tricorder and some other medical supplies.

"They're here. Chakotay, help me ..." Kathryn wept as Chakotay helped her onto a bed.

He stroked her hair out of her eyes, leaving his hand on her cheek for a moment before taking hers.

"I'm right here. The Doctor will help you."

"I'll have to sedate her," the Doctor commented from behind him, "It won't induce more nightmares, don't worry."

"No ..." Kathryn choked on her tears, "Let me stay with Chakotay ..."

"I'll be here when you wake up," Chakotay assured her, rubbing her hand with his thumb gently.

He kissed her forehead softly, just before she closed her eyes, and, her cheeks still shimmering with tears, she fell asleep with a peaceful smile on her lips.


End file.
